The drunk

Author – Shoeless Guy

Eric is a barman and always passed weekend revellers as he headed home late from work. People always tried flagging down his car assuming it was a taxi. One particular night Eric stopped at traffic lights when his passenger door opened. “Alright mate” said a lad as he fell into the passenger seat. “Take me home driver” said the drunk guy.
“I’m not a taxi” said Eric “Please get out of my car”.
The lights went green so Eric had to move forward as there was traffic behind him. He eventually pulled over into a quiet street and asked his uninvited passenger to get out. “I need to get home” said the drunk. “What’s your name?” asked Eric. “Sam” he said.
“It’s nice to meet you Sam but I’m not a taxi and I need you to get out” said Eric politely. “I’ve missed the last Metro home, lost my phone and can’t find my mates” said Sam, “Please take me home”. Eric took pity at the guys situation, he was to regret asking where he lived seeing as he missed his train meaning he lived out of town.
“Newcastle” said Sam. “That’s a canny drive from here” said Eric in his local accent.
“I’ll pay you”
Eric really wanted to go home and sleep after his shift at work but couldn’t leave the guy in the street either. “OK, but you need to pay for my fuel” Sam searched his pockets for his wallet, inside was £5. “Don’t suppose this will do?” Eric shook his head “No Sam it’s not enough” he looked at the wallet, it had no bank cards so no chance of using an ATM.
“Look Sam I’m quite willing to take you home but I need paying for the fuel”
“I’ll get you some money when I’m home”
“OK but give me your watch as deposit as I don’t want to drive into ‘toon’ then you doing a runner”
Sam took off his watch, it was a cheap Casio digital watch worth about £6 from Amazon. Eric wanted to kick him out, he didn’t need this at 2am but knew he couldn’t.
“If you want me to drive to Newcastle then give me your shoes” said Eric. “When you get home and pay for the fuel then you get your shoes back” Sam looked at his feet in the footwell “My shoes” his eyes where getting heavy “My shoes” he repeated.
“Yes your shoes, take them off and give them to me”
“My shoes, you want my shoes” repeated Sam again, he was falling asleep.
Eric had had enough, he got out of the car and walked to the passenger door to remove the uninvited drunk from the car. He dragged Sams’s legs out and noticed he was now asleep. He couldn’t leave him but what could he do. Sam was wearing a pair of white Nike trainers, more than enough to pay for fuel. He pulled them off the sleeping drunks feet revealing black/grey patterned socks. He shoved the drunks socked feet back into the footwell and put the Nike trainers into the car boot. Eric set off for Newcastle with the now shoeless sleeping Sam beside him.
On the city’s central motorway, Eric woke up Sam. “Where am I” he said and looked at Eric “Who the f*** are you?” Then he looked down at his feet “Wheres my f***ing shoes” He was now changing from a happy drunk into an aggressive drunk. Eric tried to explain the situation but he wasn’t listening.
“Where do you live?” asked Eric “Sam gave him directions before falling asleep again. Upon arrival Eric shouted “We’re here”. Sam woke up “Where am I?, Who are you?” Eric didn’t want to explain again so he lied “You where robbed, they took your shoes, I found you and took you home” Sam looked down at his shoeless feet “They where my favourite trainers” he said. Sam got out of the car and told Eric to wait, he went inside his house and returned a few minutes later still in socked feet and gave Eric £50, he insisted he took it for being a good samaritan and to pay for his fuel and inconvenience. Eric knew it was too much and didn’t want it as he had Sams shoes in his car boot. But his lie stopped him from revealing the truth, so he just took the money. Sam stood and watched in his socked feet as the good samaritan drove away with his money and his shoes. Sam had well and truly been robbed….. by Eric. At least he was safe at home.


When your mate gets set up

Author – Chinka Lad

The night before my mate went to buy some weed and my mate almost got set up for his Tn’s and almost robbed.

My mate call me the next day and goes the lad who tried to set me up last night is at the mall and is wearing a red Tommy Hilfiger jacket and just brought brand new Airmaxes in like alright I’m on my way now I’ll call u when I’m there.

I called my friend when I was there and he showed me to where the lad was and I confronted the lad Oi! heard u tried to rob my mate last night the lad goes nah I didn’t I’m like bull shit don’t lie to me.

He goes yeah I did try to rob ur mate for his cash and his tns, I grabbed him by his jacket put him against the wall and said take off your Airmaxes right now before I bash the shit out of you while he was taking off his airmaxes I grabbed the JD sport bag where he brought his airmaxes from and his old shoes were in there and I snatched his navy blue Lacoste hat off his head.

I asked the lad what kicks did he wear down to the mall to buy the airmaxes he replies tns I’m like what size are both ur tns and airmaxes he goes size 10 I reply mad my size.

He’s now taken off his brand new airmaxes he just brought and is now in his white Tommy Hilfiger socks I say to him take off your tommy socks too and put them in your airmaxes, he slowly takes em off his feet and puts them in his airmaxes then I grab his airmaxes and put them in the jd sport bag.

I tell the lad to take off his red tommy higher jacket and hand it over and once he unzipped his tommy jacket I see a gold watch and I go take off your watch too cunt and he removes his watch off his wrist and hand its over along with his red Tommy Hilfiger jacket.

I say to the lad if I hear about you trying to set up people again you won’t be so lucky.

I put in his $600 Gold Guess watch and put on his tommy jacket and Lacoste hat I took off my tns and Nike socks and put them in my tns and slipped on the lads white tommy socks and slipped on his brand new airmaxes on my feet and put my tns and my Nike socks in the jd sport bag in front of the lad who I just rolled for trying to set up my mate and told him to f* off and he walked off barefoot.

Army cadets

Author – shoelossguy

It was the Army Cadets summer camp, the last for those aged 17, the maximum age for being a cadet. There was six 17 year olds, all sergeants. Traditionally the leavers compete in a game of ‘Capture the flag’ against another group. The winners would parade through camp with the flag and the losers marched around camp and tied to trees and gunged. Glory or total humiliation, it made the teams more determined to win as nobody wanted to lose.
The 17 year old Sergeants are the Red team, Nick the team leader, Jeff, Mike, Ian, Amrit and Kev. Their opponents in the Blue team are a group of 15 year old Corporals, Gary the team leader, Baz, Will, Ross, Marty and Sean.
The rules where to make camp half a mile apart at the bottom of a large hill which was covered in trees. They were not allowed to climb the hill until 5am as the flag would not be placed at the top until that time. All participants wore tracking devices strapped to their wrists to prevent them from cheating and climbing the hill early. Each group had one radio each for emergency use only.
They set off to make camp before it got dark wearing their traditional camouflage uniform, Nick confidently told his team the flag is theirs, no contest against 15 year olds. They’d set up camp, eat and get a good night’s sleep. They would all get six hours sleep with one hour on ‘watch’ each. Nick would take the first hour so he got six hours uninterrupted sleep. The Blue team leader, Gary, was determined to beat the Sergeants and watch them lose and be humiliated especially as he wanted revenge on Nick. Although Nick was a good cadet he was different at school, infact he had been a bully of which Gary suffered way back as a year eight pupil. Nick and his mates had taken Gary’s shoes and threw them onto a roof at lunchtime causing him to spend the afternoon in his socks and walk home shoeless. He hadn’t forgotten and this was the best opportunity to seek revenge.
The Blue team had set up their camp, they too where to eat and sleep with somebody on ‘watch’ but would be up and ready not at five but three. Gary had his plan in place.
Nick ended his watch and walked back to camp and woke Jeff from his slumber. As Jeff got out of his sleeping bag and put on his high laced black combat boots, Nick undid his laces and removed his boots revealing olive coloured army issue socks, he climbed into his sleeping bag and quickly fell asleep. This repeated all night with everyone.
At 03:00 the blue team awoke, cleared camp and where ready by 03:15 and set off, not up the hill but towards the red camp. By 03:40 they where outside the red team’s camp, they observed the guard and waited. At 04:00 he left for camp a few minutes later a rather sleepy Mike took over the watch. By 04:10 he had fallen asleep listening to the birds singing the dawn chorus. Mike never knew what hit him as four of the six corporals jumped on top off him, hand gagging him to stop alerting his Red team buddies. They came prepared, firstly he was gagged and his hands tied behind his back, his laces where undone and boots removed, his white socked feet tied together. They rolled him on his stomach and hogtied him. They stealthily approached the sleeping sergeants who where snoring and and with the birds singing they never heard the enemy grab their left boots, except Nick’s , Gary decided he was taking both his boots. By 04:20 they disappeared back into the trees carrying their enemies boots passing the tied up Mike who’s left boot was grabbed by Baz. At 04:45 they where back at their original camp position just as the red team awoke from their slumber.
The sleepy eyed sergeants where laughing and joking as they climbed out of their sleeping bags, Jeff went to grab his boots and said “Okay which of you jokers has taken my boot”
“Whoever it is has taken mine too” said Kev.
“Perhaps it’s a fox who likes boots” laughed Ian.
“He’s nicked both my boots” said Nick.
“It’ll be Mike having a laugh and where is he anyway” said Amrit as he noticed a missing boot too.
They all stood up walked towards Mike’s ‘watch’ position in their socked feet. They spotted him wriggling tied up on the ground with his white socked feet in the air.
“What the f**k!!!” shouted Nick. They quickly untied him and he explained he’d been ambushed by the Blue team.
At the Blue team camp they felt elated that they had successfuly stole the sergeants boots quite literally from under their noses. Gary told his corporals that rather than carry all their kit and the enemies boots up the hill, one person was to stay at camp with the kit whilst everyone else climbed the hill to capture the flag. They drew straws and Will got the short straw and was to remain at camp guarding the kit. Gary told the team “We shall take the sergeants boots with us just in case they ambush Will but we’ll need to take your boots too Will”
“If they capture you they can take your boots and at least one of them can attempt to climb the hill for the flag and we don’t know how far away they are”
Will was the tallest of the group, similar height as the 17 year old Sergeants. He unlaced his boots and pulled them off his feet, his thick black boot socks would keep his feet warm. He handed his size 9 black boots to Ross and told him not to lose them. It was 05:00 and the blue team began the hill climb carrying Will’s and the enemies boots.
The red team had packed up their camp and put on their right boots except Nick who had no boots. “Are we going to attempt to capture the flag” asked Ian to Nick
“Pointless, we’ll be too slow without boots” said Nick. “We shall head towards blue camp and see if they’ve abandoned our boots along the way”.
The Cadets marched in their camouflage uniforms limping wearing only one boot each, except Nick who gingerly walked behind in his olive coloured socks.
The blue team neared the top of the hill, the flag was in sight. They hid in the bushes just in case the half shod Red team where to ambush them. They circled the flag pole until it was safe to capture the flag. They jumped for joy as they lowered the flag. Gary folded the flag and placed it inside his jacket. “Now lads tie all the boots together to make a chain” he said. He fastened the first boot to the flag pole and raised them. All the boots where hanging from the pole, the top two boots where Nick’s, Gary was happy that he had his revenge on Nick, pleased that he was wandering around in his socks and hopefully embarrassed especially in charge of his peers.
Back at the Blue camp Will was asleep when the red team pounced on him. “Wheres our f***ing boots” shouted Nick.
“They took them with them” said Will. Nick looked down and noticed Wills socked feet.
“Where are your boots boy?”
“They took them too, Gary knew you’d come and didn’t want you taking them”
Nick told the others to tie him up, they where going to wait and ambush the Blue team and capture the flag from them.
“If the Corporals can play dirty then so can we” said Nick.
To be continued….

Trouble in the library

Author – Shoelossfan

It was a stormy summer afternoon in Colorado Springs as 16 year old Andr Pratt was currently at the library, currently seated at one of those cubicles block people from seeing what you’re doing from either side or in front of you. And at the moment Andr had his nose deep in a manga series he had taken off the shelves to read, Andr had short black hair and brown eyes that were partly teal and he was currently clad in a normal green tee-shirt, blue shorts and on his feet were a pair of white Hanes socks with gray on the toes and heels along with a pair of black Nike sneakers with brown laces.

Thanks to the closed in nature of the cubical Andr had failed to notice that someone was sitting down at the cubical opposite his, however someone was as it was one Andr’s classmates from school named Max. Max was a mostly normal kid with messy brown hair and always wore baggy cloths and a pair of gray air max sneakers, though he always had a secret fetish for losing or taking shoes from others and seeing them go about in their socked feet. And Max had noticed Andr as he sat down, and figured he would look under the cubicles to see what kind of shoes and socks Andr was wearing and if he was shoe playing, Sadly for Max he saw that Andr had both of his sneaker clad feet flat on the floor as he read his manga.

Though max wasn’t going to be deterred by this as he sat down at his cubical and set down his books, but left his bookbag open and leaning against the side of the wooden chair leg. After that Max opened one of his books to make everything look normal as he moved his sneaker clad feet towards Andr’s left foot, once at ether side of Andr’s sneaker Max quickly closed them together trapping Andr’s foot in place. Noticing this Andr tried to pull his foot back thinking he might have just got it caught on some kind of wire under the cubical, doing so however made Andr point the toe of his sneaker upwards making his sock clad foot slip out of the sneaker since Max had his feet holding onto the heel of Andr’s sneaker.

Soon enough Andr’s left white Hane’s sock with gray on the toes and heel was completely out of his shoe, allowing for Max to pull Andr’s shoe back towards him and quickly stuff it into his open bookbag. Andr meanwhile set down his manga and looked under the cubical but was too little too late as Max already stuffed Andr’s sneaker into his bag at this point. Wondering if someone grabbed and took it away to be hidden, since Andr had noticed a few of his friends at the library before he sat down, so Andr got up from his chair and started to search around figuring it was just a prank from his highschool mates, while Max got up and followed Andr with his bag in hand and phone out the record the sight, though doing his best to keep out of Andr’s line of sight.

After about an hour of searching around Andr went back to the cubical and gathered up his books and bookbag and headed to the book checkout, figuring it would be best to call his mom since it was still storming outside and he walked there that morning. Later when Andr’s mom came by the pick him up he explained what happened and his mom was a bit annoyed, telling him that he was going to just have to deal with being one shod for the next few days until his father got paid, making it a bit of a nervous car ride home for Andr as he looked out the window and sighed knowing he was going to be stuck with one sneaker and one socked foot for a while.

(to be continued?)

Stealing chavs shoes

Author – Shoeless Guy

I work for the council housing department and was driving to inspect a house that had just been vacated, I passed three older teenagers, around 17 to 18 years of age, typically dressed with their black socks tucked into their trackie bottoms and wearing hoodies. They where all wearing similar looking black Air Max Nike trainers. They had the typical teenage swagger trying to look cool.
I had finished inspecting the three storey house and was about to leave and noticed an open window, I was about to close it when I overheard a conversation from outside. It was the three teenagers I had seen earlier sat on the garden wall. They where looking for someone called Aiden, they where going to beat him up but couldn’t work out where he lived. My impression was they weren’t very nice guys but had a good taste in footwear. I had a very risky idea. I found a black bin bag and tucked it behind the hallway radiator. I took off my jacket, placed it on the post at the bottom of the stairs. I kicked off my shoes, this made the house look like it was lived in. I stepped outside in my socks, walked up to the teenagers and asked if I could help as they looked lost. “Do you know anyone around here called Aiden” asked one of them. “Aiden who” I said. “Aiden Brown, he’s an old school mate” said another. I told them he lives here and I was his older brother, seeing me in my socks made them think I actually lived here.
“You can come in if you like, I’m sure he’ll be happy and surprised to see you” I said.
“He will definitely be surprised” one of them said.
They followed me into the house, “One thing lads, mum’s very houseproud and she’s rather unwell and in bed so can you take off your shoes and creep very slowly up the stairs to not disturb her. I’m sure you’d do the same for your own dear mothers” I said. “No worries mate” said one of them. They kicked off their trainers displaying their black socks with trackie bottoms tucked in, they left them next to my tan lace up shoes in the hallway. I told them Aiden’s room was on the top floor and he was on his play station, he’d be pleased to see them, “Would you like a cup of tea” I asked. “Yeah mate three sugars cheers” said one. They started climbing the stairs, “Remember lads slowly and quietly” I said as I watched their socked feet climb the stairs in slow motion. I put on my jacket and as soon as the last foot disappeared on the landing I grabbed the bin bag and stuffed all three pairs of Nikes inside as well as my own shoes as I had no time to tie the laces. I opened the front door, closed it slowly and legged it down the street in my socks to my car. I put on my shoes and drove around the block. After several minutes I spotted the three lads walking down the street in their socked feet. I made sure they where we’ll away from the house, returned and secured it. I passed them in the car, their teenage swagger had gone as they walked along the street shoeless. Hopefully they’d forget about beating up somebody called Aiden.

Shoeless Salesman – part 1

Author – Shoeless Guy

My grandma decided it was time to clear out all my late grandfather’s belongings and give them to charity. I had stayed over to help her and had carried all the boxes to the hallway ready for collection by the charity shop. My grandma asked if I could wait until the charity had collected everything as she had to go out.
After an hour the doorbell rang, It wasn’t the charity standing outside in the rain but two young men in suits. “Can I help?” I asked. They where window salesman “We are here about the windows” they said. I assumed my grandma had arranged the appointment and forgot. I apologised as they where carrying frame samples and knew they had walked a considerable distance as this was a ‘residents permit parking’ area. They where quite persistent and feeling guilty about their wasted journey I let them in out of the rain. “You can wait in the sitting room but first please remove your shoes and leave them here in the hallway. Grandma’s rules” I insisted as I pointed at my own socked feet. The dark haired guy just slipped off his shiny black loafers with his feet whilst the fair haired guy stood like a stalk on one leg to untie each lace and carefully pulling his black Brogues off his black socked feet. They walked into the sitting room in their socks. They insisted on showing their samples, “It’s grandma’s house not mine” I said, but they did so anyway. After two hours they where still sitting on the sofa when the telephone rang in the hallway. I excused myself and left the room closing the door and picked up the phone. My grandma said she’d be at her friends house until later because of the rain, I explained that the window salesmen had been waiting for hours, “What salesmen? ” she asked. Whilst talking on the phone I’d been placing the salesmens shoes on and off my socked feet without realising. Both pairs of shoes fitted quite well and looked good on my feet. I finished trying on their shoes and returned to the sitting room and told them my grandma knew nothing of their visit and asked them to leave. “We haven’t wasted two hours to leave without a potential sale” said the fair haired guy in an aggressive tone. Just then the doorbell rang, It was the charity coming to collect the boxes. “Take everything in the hallway and close the door when you’re done” I told them and returned to the sitting room to see both shoeless salesmen still sitting there. They insisted I call my grandma and demand she come back, their demands where infuriating.
Eventually their insistence relented, I left them to pack up their stuff then they headed to the hallway. They looked around scratching their heads “OK where are our shoes” said one of them. I looked at the empty hallway floor. The fair haired salesman said “Is this a joke? You want us to leave but you’ve hidden our shoes” I explained about the charity boxes and they must of mistakenly taken their shoes as well. They demanded I contact the charity to return their shoes, I refused and told them the charity shop location and suggested they could buy their shoes back because saying they donated them by mistake would be far fetched even if they arrived shoeless. I jokingly said they could tell the charity shop “We gave up our shoes for donation then realised we need them ourselves” They both asked to loan a pair of my shoes, I reminded them I didn’t live here and only had the shoes I arrived in. I opened the door. “Our car is parked a mile from here, you expect us to walk in our socks” they argued.”If you had left when first asked you’d be walking in your shoes” I told them to leave. They stepped outside shoeless, fortunately it had stopped raining and the path was dry except for small puddles which they hobbled around in their socked feet. I shouted “The charity will appreciate your donation” then I closed the door and went to the kitchen and put on my own Nike trainers. I grabbed my back pack and bicycle, wheeled it through the hallway and stopped at the stair cupboard and retrieved from it one pair of shiny black loafers and one pair of black Brogues. I placed them in my back pack and headed for the front door. Nice work I thought, two pairs of shoes for starting my new job next week.
“Have a nice day” I said to the shoeless salesmen as I cycled past with their shoes.

Taxi Hell – Driver POV

Author – Shoeless guy

I’d had a busy day with plenty of fares even with my payment machine refusing cards. I was about to switch off my ‘FOR HIRE’ sign and head home when some 6ft ‘trendy
bearded’ idiot in a grey suit stepped out in front of my cab shouting ‘TAXI’. My sudden stop enabled two young men in suits to get in my cab followed by the idiot that I nearly hit. They where merry in drink but not totally drunk. No polite request but a demand to be taken out of town. The traffic was heavy and they where getting impatient when one shouted arrogantly “Stop driver! we’re getting the tube as you’re too slow” and proceeded to shove his debit card through the payment hatch. “Sorry guys” I said politely “machine is down, cash only I’m afraid”. “We have no cash” explained the tall blond haired guy, i heard the others call him Mike “Can you find an ATM machine on route”. I would of happily kicked them out without payment and just head home but their rudeness stopped me. I passed several ATM machines but couldn’t stop due to the traffic, eventually I found a bank with several ATM’s, the blond guy called Mike got out and tried every cash machine without success, as he walked back to the taxi I noticed his footwear, nice expensive brogue shoes. As soon as he was back inside the cab I locked the doors and demanded something as collateral until they could pay the fare. The bearded guy shouted in a condescending manner that anything I suggested was far too valuable for paying a lousy taxi fare. His arrogance was becoming unbearable when the guy sat between him and Mike suggested a supermarket with cashback facilities and more urgently ‘toilets’. I agreed and drove off.
With their desperation for a piss they would agree to anything, so I took my time finding a supermarket. I deliberately parked my cab furthest away from the supermarket entrance. Another request for collateral was dismissed. So I said to the bearded guy “To stop you doing a runner after getting out of my taxi, give me your shoes, it’s the only way your getting out”. He stared at me as if in defiance, his mates laughed and said “Yeah Nick give him your shoes” he was about to swear when I shouted “SHOES NOW” he reluctantly undid his laces and removed his shoes revealing plain black socks, I couldn’t believe I got a 6ft tall man to give me his shoes. He squeezed them through the money hatch in the cabs partition. I looked at them, I could smell the warm patent leather and threw them in the front passenger footwell. I knew they where expensive and they alone would cover the cost of the taxi fare but I wasn’t finished. The other two where still laughing at their friends embarrassment. “Not enough” I said then looked at the guy sat in the middle, his laughter stopped as I demanded his too, “Take off your shoes and give them to me”, he did reluctantly and passed them through the hatch, another strong smell of leather and feet from his warm shoes. I threw them next to the other pair. He called me a pratt, I wasn’t bothered, he was in his socks and I had his shoes. Mike, the last remaining wearer of footwear shouted “Can we get out now for crying out loud, I need a piss”, “Not until you also hand over your shoes” I said. The 6ft tall blond stared at his friends shoeless feet, looked down at his own shoes and realised his fate. “Your not laughing now” I said as he undid the laces of his tan Brogues, he slipped them off his feet and handed them to me. “Nice expensive shoes” I said to him as I also threw them into the footwell next to the other pairs of ransomed footwear. They sat on the back seat of my cab, three strapping men in their expensive grey suits and black socked feet, expressing their embarrassment by hiding one socked foot behind the other repeatedly. ‘Not so arrogant now are we boys’ I thought to myself as I unlocked the doors. They got out and clumsily walked quickly in their socks across the large car park towards the entrance of the supermarket and disappeared inside.

They where either drunk, stupid or just too materialistic to hand over a watch. After all depositing a watch would not of been noticed by anyone, but for all three to give up their shoes and walk around a supermarket in their socks was just plain stupid and very very noticeable.
Whilst they where gone I took off my cheap brown shoes and tried on Nick’s black patent leather shoes, they where still quite warm and really comfortable. I then tried Mike’s tan Brogues, they looked good on the tall blond’s feet, even better on mine and I wanted to keep them for myself as I could never justify the cost of a pair. Whilst waiting I listened to the radio news and learned of a banking problem, I realised it wasn’t their fault. I had passed caring about the fare, the enjoyment of persuading three annoying young men to part with their shoes and walk into a supermarket in socked feet was priceless. Even though they where arrogant pigs, I wanted to drive off leaving them stranded penny less and shoeless miles from home but I took pity on them and waited.
They hobbled in socked feet back to the taxi, as soon as the doors closed I locked them and drove out of the car park. I was about to let them have their shoes when Nick ‘demanded’ them back, he also lied about having the cash. His annoyance changed my mind, I drove nowhere near their destination and pulled over. I asked again for payment, Mike the tall blond said ‘I am really sorry but we still haven’t got the cash” I picked up their shoes and was about to give them back when Nick mouthed off again “Give us our shoes and let us out”. I told them I knew they had no cash and why, I was about to give them back again but because of Nicks further annoyance I threw their shoes back into the footwell. I shouted at Nick “Do you ever shut that mouth of yours or are you enjoying being shoeless and confined in my cab?” Mike the blond guy gave me his watch as payment, neither cheap nor expensive it covered more than the cost of the fare. I called the arrogant bearded Nick a shit and told him the homeless people across the road had more respect than them. I picked up Nick’s shoes and opened the front passenger window, I told him he had nice shoes, he looked at them, his bearded jaw dropped as I threw them out of the open window, his big mouth demanded to be let out to get his shoes as he glanced over to the homeless people. I picked up the other pair of black
shoes and as I threw them out, their owner called me a bastard. Finally I told the tall
blond guy how much I admired his expensive footwear and quickly threw them out of the door window landing in the darkness next to the other men’s shoes. I told him the homeless people would appreciate them. I sounded the car horn as I pulled away, their heads turned from the open window to the homeless people whose attention had turned to the pile of expensive patent leather shoes on the roadside. No sooner had I moved I slowed to a halt and unlocked the doors. The three tall young men in their expensive grey suits exited the taxi and ran in their socked feet to retrieve their shoes before the homeless people got to them. I drove off looking in my rear view mirror it was a very close race between them all to reach the expensive patent leather shoes.

I did feel guilty though, not only did I have Mike’s watch I also have his expensive shoes. I had driven from the supermarket in my socks and there where four pairs of shoes in the footwell including mine. I’d actually thrown my own shoes out of the window instead of Mike’s.

Although I had expected to finish work several hours earlier I’d enjoyed watching the captive arrogant young men squirm with embarrassment without their shoes. It was better than a night in front of the TV. Perhaps I should do it again!