Stealing Alex’s Clogs

Author – MC

“…but my god, Amy is such a bitch, I could strangle her.”

Matt had already tuned out from Laura’s usual lunch conversation- how much she hated X other girl. It was different every day. Matt could never keep track of her ‘hit list’ though, because it was during this time that Matt got a peek around at today’s sightings. Ever since he’d come to college and eaten lunch in the cafeteria, he had used the location to people-watch. More accurately, he watched their shoes.
He wasnt really sure when he’d come by this curiosity… ok fine it was a little bit of an obsession. But he couldnt help but stare when he saw a pair of shoes he liked. Usually these were of the backless variety… and if someone happened to have their shoe come off, that was a special treat.

Sure lots of girls wore backless shoes and sandals, but what was unique about college was that some guys wore shoes like that too, especially when the weather was warmer. Guys in leather flip flops would slap along and draw his attention, and some guys wore those adidas slides… they were more interesting because you could pair them with socks. He preferred there to be socks.
But today, something new walked into the caf. Matt’s gaze trailed down a long pair of slim fitted jeans to the suede Birkenstock clogs at their cuffs. Matt could see all the way across the room the light gray socks peeking through from his heels. Most college guys didnt own shoes like that. There must be something unique about him, perhaps a more relaxed personality? Sometimes Matt even wore clogs with a wood sole that had a little bit of a heel. They were intriguing.
Laura had paused her prattling. He was doing it again. Did he honestly think she never noticed that he always looks at people’s shoes? And often times -guys-. And if he’s gay that doesn’t matter to her, but they are BEST FRIENDS. She was entitled to know what this is about.
She followed his eyes. Alex is wearing clogs again… and Matt is staring.

“Clogs.” She says, manner-of-fact.
“They’re called clogs, Matt.”

“I know what they’re called.” Matt hadn’t stopped looking at brown suede. Their wearer was walking now, and they were either too big or ill-fitted, because his heels were lifting up very far… how did he not walk out of them? WAIT. She had noticed him staring. He made eye contact with her, then looked down, embarrassed.

Laura smirked. “Don’t feel bad. You should have told me you had a little fetish.”
“It’s not a-”
“What is it then, Mr. Kinky Matt?”

He had no answer.

Matt gave her a stern look as under the table he felt one of Laura’s very on-trend high heel clogs lift up the cuff on his left ankle. His leg recoiled and he felt Laura’s clog fall off and onto the top of his foot, then clattering to the tiled floor. She laughed under her breath, proud of herself for having discovered this new information.
Matt got his revenge by corralling her shoe between his boots and pulling it where she couldnt reach. She frowned and as she fumbled around trying to get it back, his attention was back on that guy’s feet. They were walking in his direction. Oh shit. He heard the open heels scuff along as he dragged the loose clogs along. Matt’s stare was locked again.

And that’s when this guy and his friends sat down at the table next to them.
Thankfully, Laura was tactful enough not to embarass him publicly. And she lowered her voice when she noticed that Alex and his clogs had come to sit near them. Alex crossed his long legs and one of the clogs slipped down to dangle on the end of his foot. She wondered if Matt had a boner… then the slight hue of red in his cheeks answered her question.
Matt felt Laura grab his hand. He stopped staring and looked her in the eye as she leaned forward. She was making sure that guy didnt notice.
“Alex is going to that party tonight.”
She darted her eyes to the guy in the clogs, and back to Matt.
“Let’s take his clogs.” She wore a devilish grin.
She hushed him. “I’ve done it before, it’s so easy. People leave their shoes at the door or something and I just… put on the ones I like when I leave.”
“No, no that’s…” Matt started to say it was crazy, but then he realized how tempting the idea was… He wanted to do it.
And Laura could tell she was about to have a partner in crime.

That night, there was a complication. People weren’t leaving their shoes at the door. As things got more exciting, a few girls had ditched their heels so they could walk, but Alex’s clogs had stayed on his feet… mostly. Matt’s heart rate pounded when one clog got kicked off in his direction as Alex moved through a tight crowd.

Matt wanted to snatch it up, but froze. He watched intently over his drink as Alex hobbled over in one gray sock and, laughing with the girls who watched this happen, slipped his foot back inside. Matt was hard as a rock, and Laura gave him a knowing pat on the shoulder.
“Hang in there, guy. Take your chance when you get it.”
What happened next Matt never really did understand. Laura ambled over to Alex and twirled her blonde hair as she said something in his ear. Whatever it was, it made the rest of the girls giggle, Alex smile and he whispered something to his friend. Matt thought his name was… Eric?
Eric and Matt made their way to an open couch in the room. As the whole group of girls watched intently, Eric pushed Alex onto the arm of the couch. Alex’s feet hung off the ground.
Suddenly, Eric moved on Alex and sat facing him on his lap, their lips pressed together. The group of girls cheered excitedly. The sudden movement caused Alex to start falling backward onto the couch, and, as Matt watched agape, both of Alex’s clogs dropped off of his feet.
In the excitement, a crowd formed around the couch to watch the guys make out. It was all too easy for Matt to slip to the end of the couch and snatch up the clogs. The shoes in his hands, he made eye contact with Laura, who was texting him. He left the room with his prize and looked at his phone: “i think its time for u to leave ;)”
When Matt got in his car, he couldn’t wait any longer. He slipped out of his chelsea boots and tossed them in the passenger seat. He slipped his socked feet into Alex’s clogs one foot at a time. They were very roomy; Alex’s feet were larger than his. They were still warm.
Matt lifted his right foot slightly, just to see what it felt like. The clog slipped down his foot, exposing the blue ankle socks he had worn under his leather boots. Matt’s foot trembled with excitement and the soft suede slipped off the end of his toes.


Hay Ride

Author – MC

It was a cool night in October. The forecast was clear, so it was an ideal night to take part in a traditional harvest time tradition- the hay ride. In a fairly small university town where there is not much to do, the local hay rides get a lot of traffic, especially as you approach Halloween.
Alex often joined the same group of friends for weekend activities, whether it was out to bars for a night of drinks or just to hang. He had never been on a hay ride though, having been from the city. When he got the call to meet up with his friends, he slipped on a pair of open-back, brown leather clogs with a wood sole and walked out the door, giving no thought to last night’s rain or the outdoors destination.
Matt worked the ticket line at the hay ride. It was an easy, seasonal job that only ran for a little over a month. The only downside, really, was the mud. With all the foot traffic, the waiting area for boarding the carts became very messy. Matt didnt mind though. He kind of liked the feeling of the mud tugging at his shoes.
He began to wear a pair of loose, brown low wallabee-style shoes which were large enough to allow his heels to lift up when he walked. They would get stuck in the mud and it was fun to have to pull his heavy low boots out of the muck. It was a good thing he didnt have to walk or run very much for this job. He was sure if he ever needed to run he would leave his shoes behind, stuck in the ground.
Matt also enjoyed watching the ride patrons who had chosen the wrong footwear to wear to this event. Too often he watched people try to walk from the bleachers where patrons waited to board to the cart while wearing flip-flops or slides. He couldn’t help the feeling of excitement as he watched a guy or girl struggle to keep on their sandals until at last the unsecure footwear is lost in the muck, only to have the owner fish them out and board the cart barefoot.
Then came the night Alex came to the hay ride. Matt stared secretly as Alex approached in his clogs and took a nearby seat on the bleachers, waiting to be called to board a cart. Working security, Matt had an excellent vantage point to watch as Alex momentarily slipped his socked feet out of the clogs, which had managed to stay relatively free of mud to this point. Unable to help himself, Matt moved in underneath the bleachers.
At a closer look, Matt discovered that the clogs were secured by a buckled leather strap that tightened across the top of the foot. Above, Alex was chatting with his friends, and none of them could see him under the bleachers in the dark. Matt wondered if he could unfasten the buckles without him noticing… He would surely lose them among the deep muddy path.
Before Matt could do anything, Alex moved his feet back to the clogs, placing his toes upon the end of the heel. He was holding them down securely enough… Matt carefully pushed the end of the strap on the right shoe through the buckle. With a tug, the pin came out of the strap and the clog was made unfastened. Nobody noticed.
Quickly and gently he slipped open the buckle on the left clog and backed into the darkness under the bleachers. Seemingly at that very moment, Matt’s co-worker approached Alex’s group to ferry them toward a cart that was nearly full from boarding. The group rose and Alex pushed his feet into the clogs and followed. Matt watched from the shadows.

Alex took his first few steps onto the road, the clogs sinking about an inch into the mud. The stepping motion forward made his foot pull the strap out of the buckle on his right foot first, then the left, and he knew something was wrong with his shoes. Matt could tell they had suddenly become VERY loose on his feet. Though, there was no stopping now, as the cart was boarding and so Alex pressed on.
Closer to the cart, the mud became deeper. Alex struggled to walk. Step after step, he tugged his shoes free of sticky mud, trying very hard not to lose one in the process. Matt’s breathing quickened as he looked on. Alex’s left foot sank deep, and from the bleachers Matt could see that a bit of mud had wicked onto the exposed heel of Alex’s light gray sock.
Alex tried to move through this step quicker, but the clog stayed stuck fast in the deep mud. Alex’s foot pulled up out of the shoe and landed in another spot of mud. He must have been up to his ankle in mud. At this point one of Alex’s friends turned and noticed his predicament. Matt heard him laugh. “Wrong shoes, dude.”
As the group was boarding, there was no time for Alex to do anything else… he slipped the muddy sock back into the clog and pulled upward. With a squelch the clog came free from the muck. He nearly had flung the shoe from his foot with the motion, but managed to catch it on the end of his toes before it flew off.
Another few steps and the right clog got stuck, but Alex caught himself before he stepped down. He stood on one foot for a moment, looking back to see where the lost clog was so he could slip his foot back inside.
Finally Alex reached the cart. He was the last to take a seat on the cart, placed on the very end of the flatbed. The only seat available, he had to ride with his feet hanging from the edge of the cart. It was only now that he could see that his straps were unbuckled, and as he sat himself on the edge of the hay cart, he realized that his shoes were too loose for him to keep them secure, but the mud had covered the vacant buckles so completely that there was nothing he could do about it but try to hang on. A gate was secured on the back of the wagon, and Alex was now stuck in his position with his feet dangling off the end of the cart.
An attractive girl was seated next to him, her feet also hanging. Alex noticed she was wearing a pair of black Birkenstocks, the model with one thin strap. Mud lined the outside of her sandals and in a few places her light blue ankle socks were stained brown from the wet earth. At the same time, she took stock of Alex’s muddy clogs. She smiled weakly. “We wore the wrong shoes.”
Alex smiled back, but his smile faded as the hay cart began to move. The mud and old wooden wheel design made the ride very bumpy. His right clog slipped down his foot to the end of his toes. Next to him, the bumpiness had made the same thing happen to both sandals on the girl next to him. She fought to flex her toes upward and keep them hanging on her feet. “Shit!”
Alex gripped hard with his left foot, attempting to hold the more secure of the pair in place. However, the slick mud between his foot and the wooden sole made for poor traction, and with the loose fit created by the opened strap, nothing was there to stop Alex’s clog from falling from his foot and into the muddy ground moving under the cart. Both Alex and the girl gasped. The cart rolled over something, likely a rock. The cart bumped in response, and her sandals were flung off too. As the cart moved on, they could do nothing but watch their shoes drift away into the distance.
After a moment, the pair looked at each other and shared a hushed laugh. Looking down, they saw Alex’s remaining clog hanging dangerously close to the end of his foot. She reached her foot over to the nearby hanging leg, and touched gently under Alex’s exposed heel. She flicked her foot suddenly downward and knocked off his dangling clog.
“I’m Alex,” she said coyly.
“…Me too,” he said with a smirk.
Later, they returned to the places where their shoes had fallen off. But standing ankle deep in the mud, their socks turned brown, they found nothing except the obvious indents in the soft ground where the shoes had impacted and the deep footprints of the one who had taken them.

An unwitting participant 

Author – John Salt

Over the last few years I’ve developed a ‘Thing’ for wearing only one shoe. I like to remove, or pretend to lose my right shoe, and wander around displaying one socked foot. But – I’ve only ever done this alone and in the privacy of my own home. I’ve never dared do this in public for fear it would be considered very odd. Until a few nights ago …

It occurred to me that an ex-girlfriend might be the perfect audience for a one-shoe display. She is one of life’s more innocent creatures – someone who wouldn’t think it odd or ask too many questions.

Even so, I thought I needed a plausible reason for why I, as a guest in her house, would be in full Cinderella mode. I hatched my plan, and on the prearranged night drove over to see her.

I knocked on her door and, as she opened it to greet me, I entered grimacing with a very pronounced limp. She was full of sweet and genuine concern, asking what had happened?

“I’ve strained my back and hurt my right foot!”

“You poor thing! How?”

“The back was trying to lift something heavy a couple of days ago. The foot was slipping down the stairs first thing this morning. It’s really painful.” 

“Your foot?” 

I nodded, grimacing, standing there in her hallway mostly balancing on my left leg. 

“Do you think you’ve broken it? Have you seen a doctor?”

“No – its not broken. Just badly bruised. It doesn’t actually hurt too much without a shoe.”

“Well do you want to take your shoe off then? You should if it helps.”

“I would, but I’m not sure my back will let me bend down that far.”

“I’ll do it for you. Can’t have you in pain all evening.” She quickly knelt down in front of me as I leaned against the wall and gingerly offered my right leg forward. She took my right black shoe in one hand and raised the leg of my jeans slightly to expose the laces – and began to untie them. With the laces loosened she instructed “Tell me if this hurts. I’ll go gently.” And slowly, almost imperceptibly, she gently began to slide the shoe down off my heel, and then towards her to gradually reveal a turquoise sock with black reinforced toes. “There – how’s that?”

“Much better. Thanks!” I replied.I was excited. I looked down at her as she knelt in front of me, still clutching my shoe. She smiled – “Good, I am pleased.” She stood up and suggested “Why don’t we go through to the lounge? I’ll bring your your shoe.”

“No, don’t bother, leave it here.” I suggested, motioning to the hall table. 

She did as I suggested and began to lead the way, turning occasionally to watch me as I as took careful steps alternately on my right socked foot and left shoed foot. She commented that my limp was less dramatic without my shoe.

In the lounge we sat beside each other on the sofa. I crossed my right leg over my left to fully display my right socked foot. We talked, catching up on each other’s news. We talked for a good two and a half hours … and Cinderella loved every minute of it. Here I sat, in attractive company, minus my shoe. My right shoe was gloriously out of reach in the hall. But all good things must come to an end, and finally it was time to go. We stood, and I followed her back to the hallway.

She pointed to my shoe on the table “What do you want to do about that? Do you want me to try and put it back on again for you?”

“No thanks. I’ll carry it.” I picked up my shoe and found it fitted into my jacket pocket. “Thank you for a lovely evening.” 

“Thank you for coming to see me – its been a while. What are you doing on Saturday? Perhaps we could do something if your foot’s better?”

“Perhaps we could do something even if my foot’s not better!” I responded with enthusiasm. “Provided you don’t mind me looking like Cinderella!”

“I don’t mind at all, Cinderella!” 

We kissed goodnight and I departed. She stood in the doorway watching me walk to my car … my left shoe making the usual footstep noises and my right socked foot perfectly silent. My brain was spinning …. where could we go on Saturday? Where would a man missing a shoe not attract too much attention ….?

Accidental arrest

Author – Unlucky Lad

Kev left school at sixteen and as soon as he could he left home. Now at nineteen he lives in a neighbouring town in a bedsit, working at a DIY store, pay isn’t good but he manages and importantly he has his independence. To save money he walks to work and frequently cuts through the local park as a short cut. 

One day whilst walking to work through the park he got stopped by a young man in his early twenties who asked what size where his shoes. Kev said they where a size 9 and asked him why? Do you fancy swapping shoes asked the man who was wearing a fairly new pair of Reebok classics, this puzzled Kev as his where an old pair of white Nikes which where well worn. The guy was quite insistent and seemed quite hurried, not to miss an opportunity and no money to buy a new pair Kev agreed. They sat on a bench and kicked off their shoes and swapped. The guy quickly put on Kevs trashed trainers, he said ‘cheers mate’ and ran off. Kev put on his newly acquired pair of trainers, they looked quite new except for the thin layer of mud around the soles, he could not believe his luck and continued his walk to work.

It was nearing the end of a long day at work. Regularly the store got shoplifters and today was no exception. He caught sight of a lad acting suspiciously in the tool section of the store and noticed him placing an expensive set of drill bits down the back of his jeans. He was slightly older but that didn’t deter Kev from stopping him if he attempted to leave without paying. He followed the suspected shoplifter to the exit doors, the lad looked back and seen Kev behind him and started to run, Kev gave chase and quickly rugby tackled the lad to the ground in the car park. After a struggle he took the lad back inside to the managers office. The manager phoned the police and they detained the lad until they arrived. A policeman arrived and arrested the lad, Kev was asked if he could go to the police station with them to make a statement and retrieve the stolen item. The manager said to just bring it back tomorrow and get off home after attending the police station. This suited Kev as the police station was on the way home meaning a shorter walk, he quickly went to the staff room, removed his overalls and put his coat on over his white T shirt and jeans and changed out of his work shoes into his newly acquired trainers. He had to get in the back of the police car with the shoplifter. The policeman couldn’t use his radio as there was a problem with police communications and computer equipment. Upon arrival at the station the gate was opened manually by another police officer. The PC got out of the car and spoke to the other officer, he then opened the car door and both Kev and the shoplifter got out. He said that he needed to go straight out again on an emergency and the other officer would take over. ‘Shoplifting at the DIY store’ he said to the other officer as he jumped back in his car and drove off.

‘Follow me’ said the new officer, Kev had never been in a police station before and was excited to see what happens inside. They went to a door that displayed ‘Custody Suite’ on a sign. Kev was told to wait outside in a holding area while the shoplifter continued through the door. Ten minutes later Kev was asked to follow the officer through the same door as the shoplifter previously. They walked to a counter, on the other side a police sergeant asked Kev if he knew why he was here, ‘Of course’ said Kev. He was asked to empty his pockets onto the counter and remove his coat and belt, it was a bit unusual thought Kev but assumed it was for security reasons. He was then told to remove his shoes so he could be searched, he kicked of his shoes and felt the cold floor through his socks, he obeyed an instruction to lean forward with hands on the counter while the officer did a pat down of his body including his socked feet. Kev said ‘It’s a bit over the top for just making a statement’ He put his shoes back on and was told he’d been arrested for shoplifting. ‘No, I work at the store and caught the other guy, I’m here to make a statement and take back the stolen goods’ said Kev ‘Ask the officer who brought us here’. He’s out on an emergency and our radios are down. We are having to manually book detainees in also as the computer system is down’ said the sergeant. ‘Ring the store and my boss will tell you who I am’ begged Kev. The sergeant tried, ‘no answer’ he said. The store was now closed. You’ll have to stay here until the arresting PC returns. ‘What’ said Kev, ‘I’ve never been arrested before’, ‘we don’t know that without a computer’ said the sergeant. He was taken to the cells, walking along the detention block corridor he could see shoes outside each cell door, he recognised the Adidas trainers the shoplifter had been wearing, further along he recognised another pair, a trashed pair of white Nikes, his Nikes he’d swapped earlier today. He was stopped outside an open cell and was told to remove his shoes, he did so, again feeling the cold floor as walked inside the cell in his socked feet and the door locked behind him. In the cell was a blue mat on the floor and a toilet. He sat on the mat and thought, what on earth has just happened, arrested and sat in a locked cell with all my belongings and shoes confiscated. He stared at his socked feet and began to find it all thrilling and exciting being detained in a police cell against his will. At least he’d be freed in the morning and perhaps he might get the day off work for his troubles. He smiled as he fell asleep.

The next morning he heard the cell door open, he’d not slept much by the excitement of being ‘locked up’. The officer told him to follow him back to the custody desk. He left the cell, his shoes where missing from outside so followed the officer in his socks to the desk noticing half the shoes that where outside cells where gone, presumably their owners had been released including the shoplifter as his shoes where gone also. But his old white Nikes where still there outside a locked cell. At the desk he anticipated an apology but it did not come. The sergeant said ‘As per police procedure all prisoners shoes are checked against any shoeprints found at any crime scene. He lifted up a clear plastic bag with evidence written on it and inside where Kevs trainers. Your shoes where found to match footprints at a dwelling where a serious incident occurred yesterday morning. You are therefore arrested on suspicion of burglary and serious assault. Take him back to the cells. The door locked behind him, he sat on the mat and stared at his shoeless feet only this time he wasn’t thrilled and excited about being locked up he was petrified.

Accedental detention – day 5

Author – Unlucky lad

Jason stared at my shoes as I walked along the bus, ‘You still wearing them scruffy shoes’ he shouted. ‘I’m hoping Martin has my shoes in his bag or I’m gonna end up in detention again’. Martin and James got on the bus, James was quiet, ‘Taking Mr Aidens trainers is theft’ said Jason ‘He gave them to me’ said James. ‘Blackmailed him more like’ replied Jason’. ‘He could have  kicked you out of school or even arrested or both’. James stayed quiet as he knew he had done wrong. I asked Martin for my shoes. ‘Oh no, I totally forgot about them, I am so sorry’ he said apologising. I demanded we swap shoes, he could risk wearing my scruffy shoes as he already had detention and I didn’t. His shoes where extremely tight on my feet as they were a size smaller.

Outside at lunchtime, James was talking to Mark about yesterday he said not to worry and be more confident. Then Mr Wilkinson appeared and Mark kicked James deliberately. Mr Wilkinson walked over, ‘you know the rules about kicking Mark’ he said telling him to follow him indoors to confiscate his shoes. ‘No’ said Mark. ‘We are not going to obey you’ and grinned at the PE teacher. ‘Oh your Adidas trainers do fit sir’ he said as Mr Wilkinson stormed off. ‘Told you not to worry’ he told James. James cheered up and asked Mark if he could meet up with him tomorrow, being Saturday, Mark said ‘why not, don’t dress like a kid and we’ll sneek you into the pub with us’. James said OK and walked off. Mark was waiting for his sixth form pals, they where going to the pub to celebrate the last of their groups 18th birthday and skip their Friday afternoon lessons. They arrived, ‘have you all got your I.D’s’ said Mark as we’ll need them being in our school uniforms’. Mark saw Mr Wilkinson looking over, ‘do you want to see my prowess over the teachers’ Mark said to the lads. He told them to kick each other. They did and watched Mr Wilkinson who looked and walked away. ‘Wow’ said Jack, the birthday boy, ‘I can’t believe Mr Wilkinson did nothing’ They turned to walk out the school gate and where immediately stopped by Mr Lancaster who’d witnessed their childish behaviour. ‘What on earth are you boys playing at, you are 18 years old and supposed to set an example to the younger boys’ he said. ‘You can all follow me’, the six pals looked at each other then everyone glared at Mark as they followed Mr Lancaster into the school entrance hall.  The hallway was quite large with wood block flooring. It was a busy area with both staff and pupils using it. Mr Lancaster ordered the boys, except Jack, to sit on the wood floor and remove their shoes which they did revealing their grey socked feet. ‘As an example to all the younger pupils you are going to sit here in the entrance hall for the remainder of the lunchtime period. They sat on the cold wood floor and crossed their legs like naughty schoolboys. The teacher told Jack to pick up all the shoes now laid on the floor next to their relevant owners. He struggled carrying five pairs of shoes as he followed Mr Lancaster to the headmasters office. Jack was told to wait in the corridor holding all the shoes whilst Mr Lancaster entered the office. Already in the office was Martin who had been spotted in the dining hall by the headmaster wearing my scruffy unpolished shoes. ‘What has happened to you this week Martin’ said the headmaster, ‘You’ve been in detention and now you are letting your standards down by wearing totally unacceptable footwear’. His eyes started welling with tears as he told the headmaster they were not his shoes and with his honesty gave a truthful explanation. The scruffy shoes where confiscated. Outside in the corridor Jack still managing to hold all the shoes watched Martin leave the office in his socks and walk down the corridor towards the detention room. He was dragged into the office by Mr Lancaster dropping half the shoes onto the floor. ‘Pick them up boy’ said the headmaster. He was told to place them all on a shelf next to my scruffy pair that Martin had just removed from his feet. It looked like a shoe shop rack, not that anyone would want to buy second hand shoes that had spent their lives on the feet of teenage boys. Inform your friends they can retrieve their shoes after detention today. Jack was about to leave but was told to remove his shoes and place them with the other pairs’. He briefly thought he wasn’t getting his shoes confiscated, he took them off and placed them on the shelf. He left the headmasters office and walked along the corridor back to the entrance hall. He sat on the cold floor and crossed his legs and told the others about the detention. ‘We should of been in the pub celebrating my birthday and not sat on the floor shoeless watching every man and his dog walk past. They all sat there staring angrily at Mark. To the younger pupils entering the building they did not see naughty schoolboys sat shoeless but young men in their socks being punished. It gave them a buzz of excitement as they laughed at these young mens discomfort and embarrassment. 

We where in our first lesson after lunch. I hadn’t noticed Martin in his socks, he had discreetly hid his feet from the rest of the class. There was a knock at the door, the headmaster entered. He talked quietly to our teacher then shouted ‘Jason, Andy, my office now’. At his office he asked me why I was wearing Martins shoes, I told him Martin had mine. He asked Jason to explain the  locking the sports hall door and running off with shoes. Jason just shrugged his shoulders. I was told to remove Martins shoes, I took them off, it was a relief as they where hurting my feet since they where a size smaller than mine. I placed them on the shelf where I could see my unpolished scruffy pair. There was a lot of shoes on the shelf, there must be a lot of boys walking around in their socks I thought. ‘You both have detention’ said the headmaster. Great that’s everyday this week I’ve been in detention I thought to myself.  Jason didn’t have his shoes confiscated because they where his and they conformed to the school dress code. We walked back to the classroom Jason laughing at my endlessness of shoelessness, entering class I then noticed Martin in his socks.

Detention time arrived, the door was locked and everyone waited outside, it seemed there was more of us in our socks than wearing shoes. Eventually Mr Lancaster arrived unapologetic he explaining his lateness and that Mr Aiden should of been doing the detention but suddenly couldn’t. Those of us without shoes placed our bags and coats in the stationary cupboard first and noticed our shoes where not there. The remaining boys including Jason and James removed their shoes and placed them in the cupboard with their coats and bags. We tried to ask Mr Lancaster where our shoes where but where silenced at every attempt. Detention is about silence, no talking, no homework to be done, the boredom it created is to force you to think and reflect on why you’re there. Being Friday and Mr Lancaster’s unscheduled detention duty worked in our favour, after only half an hour we where told we could leave. Everyone grabbed their belongings, those who had shoes put them on and disappeared, James said to Mark ‘see you tomorrow’ and left with Jason. We asked Mr Lancaster about our missing shoes, he shrugged his shoulders and said we should visit the headmasters office. We all padded in our socks along the corridor. Mr Lancaster locked the detention room door and walked in the opposite direction. We arrived outside the headmasters office and knocked, there was no reply, the door was locked. ‘Just bloody fantastic’ shouted Jack angrily, my 18th birthday and i’m stuck without shoes at school. Mark said ‘we got out of detention early and we’ll be gone soon, so it’s not all that bad’. ‘It’s all bad’ shouted Jack, ‘Your silly idea about kicking each other got our shoes confiscated and being here right now, are you delibrately trying to spoil my birthday’. We all sat on the floor and waited. I got a kick out of watching the older boys sitting there in their socked feet. Boredom was setting in, Mark started kicking Jacks foot, before long everyone was foot fighting in their socks. An hour later Mr Brown, the caretaker, appeared, ‘You shouldn’t be in here’ he said.’We’re waiting for the headmaster’ said Martin. ‘He went home ages ago’ replied Mr Brown. ‘We need our shoes from his office’, ‘I can’t allow any unauthorised removal of property’ he said. ‘But they are our shoes’ said Jack.’You’ll have to go home in your socks or you boys can help yourselves by helping me’. ‘It’s ideal that you all have no shoes’ he said. 

We followed Mr Brown to the sports hall, where we helped him to roll up and remove the floor protection matting after yesterdays exhibition, we swept the floor and Mr Brown locked up. ‘Can we have our shoes now’ asked Jack. ‘Sorry boys’ said Mr Brown ‘I don’t have a key to the headmasters office’. ‘You conned us’ said Mark. ‘No I said you can help yourselves by helping me, I can now drop you off where you need to be in my van, albeit shoeless’ said Mr Brown, ‘We,ve been trying to get to the pub since lunchtime, but the only thing thats happened since lunchtime is being without shoes’ said Brian, one of the other 18 year old sixth formers. 

They all clambered into the back of Mr Browns van. ‘Home or the pub boys?’ Mr Brown asked. ‘For the hell of it, lets go to the pub, it will be a laugh in our socks’ laughed Mark. They all got out at the Red Lion and disappeared through the pub door in their socked feet. Mr Brown stopped near Martins house and we got out. ‘Thanks for the lift Mr Brown’ I said and he drove off. We sneaked into Martins house and went to his bedroom, he got my shoes from under his bed I put them on, he put his spare shoes on and we went downstairs, I said that we’d collect our other shoes from the headmaster on Monday and try and forget this week had ever happened. I left and walked home in my own shoes.

Accidental detention – day 4

Author – Unlucky lad

Jason saw me get on the bus and just glared, ‘suppose you all found it funny last night planning to leave me to walk home alone shoeless’ he said,’I planned nothing Jason, again your actions created yesterdays outcome so blame yourself’ I said angrily. I looked down at his feet, ‘Why are you wearing red trainers?’ I asked. ‘I have no school shoes until James gives back my brogues, anyway you look like a tramp wearing those scruffy black shoes’ said Jason. ‘These are my old school shoes’ I said, ‘You could of put some shoe polish on them’ he laughed. Martin and James got on the bus and walked down the aisle, ‘You owe us for this mornings bus fare Jason’ said James. ‘Whatever’ replied Jason. ‘Why are you still wearing my shoes James?’said Jason.’I have no other black shoes for school, until I get my own back I’m keeping your shoes on my feet’. I asked Martin where my shoes where, ‘hidden under my bed, I have no bag to carry them in. He was still scared his parents would find out about the detention. Also on the bus was Mr Wilkinson and Mr Aiden, two of the school PE teachers, it was unusual for them to ride the bus to school.They casually observed us or more so our footwear.

At school we immediately went to the art classroom, it was unlocked and empty. Their bags and coats where not hanging up where they last saw them. ‘Shit’ said Jason ‘I need my shoes back James’. Miss French appeared, she told us she had just taken them to the headmasters office for safe keeping. Jason managed to hide his trainers to avoid confiscation but on the way to our first lesson we heard Mr Wilkinson in the corridor. ‘Stop’ he shouted, we all stopped and turned to face Mr Wilkinson, ‘what are those on your feet’ he asked. ‘Shoes’ we all said. ‘Trainers are not allowed Jason, you know the rules, so take them off’ Jason reluctantly took off his trainers and handed them over. I grinned knowing that Jason was now going to be stuck in his socks, indoors all day and having to go to the detention room at breaks and lunchtime. ‘Don’t know why you’re grinning Andy, those shoes you’re wearing are an absolute disgrace, you too can take them off also’ Mr Wilkinson was a bit of a bully, he was in his thirties but acted like a big kid just to assert his authority, especially to us older boys. James had a bigger grin after seeing me and Jason in our socks again. Mr Wilkinson said to James ‘Aren’t those Jason’s shoes’ he’d listened to the bus conversation earlier ‘I shall have them too as we don’t want Jason to take them back now do we’ Martin just stared. ‘Take them off’ shouted Mr Wilkinson. Frustratingly he had no choice but to remove Jasons shoes and hand them over. Martin kept his head down fearing he too might be on the receiving end of Mr Wilkinsons ego and have to give up his shoes. ‘You can get your shoes back at the end of detention today’ he said and walked off carrying three pairs of shoes like trophies. Me and Jason wandered off to our first lesson walking into the classroom sheepishly, it was bad enough sitting in detention amongst our peers in their socks but to walk into a classroom shoeless is very embarrassing with everyone staring at our feet. Martin and James went to the headmasters office to retrieve their bags and coats. ‘You got no shoes again’ the headmaster said to James. ‘Mr Wilkinson took them’ said James. The headmaster confiscated James’ footwear from his bag. ‘We don’t want you avoiding punishment, you can retrieve your shoes in detention’ they left his office and went to their first lesson.

Having sat in the detention room for break and then the next lesson again in our socks we had to endure the dining hall avoiding our feet being stepped on in the queue for food. After eating we headed for the detention room as we couldn’t go outside shoeless. After a short while in walked Mark, he was a Sixth form pupil, 18 years old, 6ft tall and athletic in build. Although he was legally an adult the rules of school still applied. He too was shoeless. ‘What happened to you?’ asked James. ‘Mr Wilkinson caught me kicking a lad near the school gates’. Yet another school rule was no kicking allowed as this was an instant confiscation of footwear.’Mr Wilkinson took great pleasure in confiscating my shoes and ordering me here, he’s the same in PE lessons, he’s a control freak and I hate him’ said Mark. Lunchtime over we headed to to afternoon lessons.. in our socks. 

At 4pm we headed to the detention room, we sat waiting for Mr Aiden to observe todays detention, a PE teacher in his twenties, he looked hardly any older than Mark our 18 year old sixth former in detention . He didn’t arrive, everyone left after 10 minutes except me, Jason, James and Mark as we needed our shoes, which where all locked in the stationary cupboard and Martin who had shoes but didn’t want to be seen evading detention. After a further 30 minutes we decided to head over to the sports department to find Mr Aiden. All the teachers where in the exhibition drinking wine, it sounded like a party was in full swing, no wonder they where on the bus this morning we thought, can’t drink and then drive home. We saw both Mr Aiden and Mr Wilkinson leave the gym hall, we caught up with them in the changing rooms as they where about to embrace each other. ‘What the…’ shouted Mark.’It’s not how it looks said Mr Wilkinson, both he and Mr Aiden moved apart looking rather red faced. ‘Aren’t you married’ said Mark with a big smirk on his face. ‘We are supposed to be in detention with Mr Aiden’ said Martin not knowing where to look.’Lets go get your shoes and forget about detention’ said Mr Aiden. Back at detention Mr Aiden unlocked the stationary cupboard door. Mark said ‘We’re here for detention’, ‘no need’ said Mr Wilkinson. ‘Oh yes’ said Mark grinning. Everyone in the room except Mark was feeling uncomfortable. ‘I’m sure you don’t want anyone else to know what we saw, lose lips sink ships’ said Mark to the two teachers who where slightly inebriated, he was in control, the teachers where embarrassed about the situation and both had failed to take command immediately and now Mark had took the advantage, now they where like rabbits in headlights. Mark wanted his revenge for being shoeless since lunchtime. They where both wearing Adidas Sambas, ‘Take off your shoes’ he said. ‘No way’ said Mr Wilkinson. ‘Lose lips’ said Mark. The teachers just looked at each other, Mr Wilkinsons bullish attitude had gone. Both teachers slipped their feet out of their trainers, they looked new but still appeared to have been moulded around their feet to perfection.’Pick them up and put them in the cupboard’ They walked in their white socks to the cupboard and placed their shoes on the floor. Martin removed his shoes and placed them also in the cupboard as he was officially in detention and then Mark locked the door. Nobody argued with Mark as he was 6ft and athletic in build and enjoying the power trip. We all sat there in our socks including the PE teachers. James said to Mr Wilkinson ‘It’s not nice having your shoes confiscated is it sir’ and laughed. Both teachers beginning to sober felt very embarrassed about having to sit their amongst the pupils in their socked feet. ‘Can we go’ asked Jason to Mark. Mark unlocked the cupboard. ‘Get your stuff’ he said. Everyone put their shoes on including the teachers. ‘Stop’ shouted Mark to the teachers. ‘I like Adidas trainers’ said Mark, James started to grin, ‘yours look my size Mr Aiden’ said James. Mr Aiden just looked at the floor, ‘take them off sir’ said James, he too was now power crazy.’I want your trainers now, remember, lose lips’ reluctantly Mr Aiden took them back off his feet and handed them to James who slipped them on his own feet. He placed his own footwear in his bag feeling rather pleased with himself. Mark was staring at Mr Wilkinsons Sambas, ‘what size are they Mr Wilkinson’ he said. ‘Your not having my shoes’ said Mr Wilkinson. ‘OK’ said Mark ‘Your shoes or your wife will find out you kissed Mr Aiden’ ‘It was nothing but a drunken mistake plus they won’t fit your feet’ he said. ‘I don’t care’ said Mark, Mr Wilkinson slipped his Adidas trainers back off his feet and  begrudgingly handed them to Mark. Mr Aiden and Mr Wilkinson walked out of the detention room, it was unusual to see two teachers rather than pupils walking along the corridor in their socks. 

They all collected their stuff and headed out. Stood in their socks at the bus stop was Mr Wilkinson and Mr Aiden, James stood next to Mr Aiden and said ‘these Adidas trainers are very comfortable, you should get a pair and sniggered. Mr Wilkinson just stood there in his socks as the boys laughed at his discomfort and embarassment. It was going to be a long bus ride home.

Lads Airmaxes

Author – Chinka

I was on the train and I saw this lad in some mint airmaxes and some fresh clothes I boarded the same train as him and when he got off I followed him.

Once he hopped off the train I followed him I went to him and asked for the size of his fresh airmaxes he repplied 10.5 US, mint my size take them off ya feet or else he complied and slipped em off his feet and I made him take off his nike socks too then I demanded his Gucci hat, Tommy Hilfiger jacket and Nautica shirt and g star chinos or he would of get bashed and he handed everything over and left only in his underwear.