Uncle Henry pt2

Author – Speedy

First, a bit of background.

My Dad and Mom were divorced by the time i was born, in fact i use my Mom’s family name.
Dad has one older boy from another previous marriage, and he has twin boys about twenty months younger than me from a third wife, Maggie. I go to Dad on weekend’s sometimes – often with James – and i find Maggie a really pleasant and generous person.
Mr. Henry is dad’s brother, but as i use a different name, most people don’t realize the connection between us.

So Dad’s older boy, Will, was getting married, and James and i were invited. Problem is i had priceless little to wear. in the end mom bought me a grey blazer and a matching tie, which i was wearing with a white shirt and my school trousers and shoes. By way of comparison, Maggie’s twin boys were outfitted in white Tuxedo’s and trousers, bow ties, and gorgeous party shoes.
their shoes: https://www.sportsdirect.com/firetrap-savoy-junior-shoes-093110?colcode=09311003

So there we are by the wedding. They had rented a pub, so there was a bar with unlimited drinks, all sorts of cocktails and spiked punches and who knows what. As the evening went along a couple of people became rowdy, and the bar staff politely escorted them outside. One person started screaming racist slurs at people around them, but the staff very capably handled it. There was also a DJ with various dances going on etc…

Upstairs there was a “bridal suite” which had one way glass looking over the pub, and opened on a balcony, which then led down wide sweeping stairs to the middle of the pub, next to the dance floor. At the right moment Will had come down with his bride, having signed the registar’s book in the suite. There was a banister about five feet high round the stairway, with a lower railing. So James and i, along with Maggie’s boys were running up the stairs and sliding down the banister , climbing over the end and using it as a pole, and then running back up.
One time as i come down, my uncle Mr. Henry was at the bottom. He was giggling like a small child and clearly under the influence of way too much alcohol, and as I approached, he put down his glass on the end of the banister, and he grabbed my foot, opened the velcro straps and pulled off my shoe, and then reached out for the other one.
Before i knew was what happening a small crowd had gathered, with Mr. Henry announcing between giggles, “This is what we do to Speedy in school.”
He then lifted a cake of a raised stand and placed my shoes there, for all to see.
In the meantime i was stuck on my perch, because the only way down was over the end of banister, and his glass was there. Meanwhile Maggie’s twins had come flying behind me with James, and their weight was on me, while a crowd had gathered round.
Next thing i knew, the video guy saw a commotion and came along. He asked what was going on, and when he heard, he promptly suggested to Mr. Henry to put my shoes on my feet and take them off a second time for the camera. Mr. Henry complied, but in his drunken state it took him a few times to get them on my feet. the vidoegrapher reached in and tightened them, while Mr. Henry started again opening the velcro and taking them off. he announced again “This is what we do to Speedy in school.” and then said “In fact they are in perfect condiitons, because speedy never gets to wear them!” He reached to put them back on the cakestand and announced “In fact they are so new and clean that the teacher even puts them on his desk”
He proceeded to take the shoes off maggie’s boys, – their laces were long open, – briefly commenting on their nice new shoes. They also started giggling, i think they had a little bit of alcohol too. James school shoes were next.
Then he reached for my socks “in fact Speedy actually does sports barefoot.” Thankfully someone moved his glass so i was able to get down before that happened.
Meanwhile everyone around started asking questions. “Do you really have to take your shoes off in school?” “don’t you have trainers for sports?” etc… [i do have trainers, but if you lose your shoes they don’t let you wear trainers either]

Eventually Mr. Henry decided he is taking our shoes to his car, to give to the principal in the morning. the whole crowd followed him, so next i knew he was outside. followed by four boys, me in black socks, James in grey socks, both totally mortified, while maggie’s twins, who looked like little angel’s with white tuxedos trousers and white socked feet were giggling away. outside numerous people had retched so we had dance round the puddles, and tried also to keep as close as possible to our shoes.
After a few tries he manged to press the remote to his car, and put all the shoes inside, but before he managed to lock it James and i took out our shoes. “It won’t help boys, you have anyway got a couple of shoeless days ahead, i bet you will come late tomorrow, and i’m sure you haven’t done your homework.”

We wandered back inside, both wishing the floor would swallow us up, while maggie’s boys straggled in their socks.
Just then James’s Dad turned up to take us home. On the way to his car we walked past Mr. Henry who was still standing near his car cackling like a hyena.

I slept over in james’s house, thankfully his father wtoe us a late note and explained abput the homework, or we would have lost our shoes for the next two days.

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The bus stop

Author – JK

I sat one day at the bus stop all by myself and waited for the bus to arrive in 15min.
It was a hot summer day, I took off my AF1 shoes and set the shoes aside when I was just sitting there enjoying the sun. In the middle of everything comes the bus, I panic and get up fast, snatch my bag and run on the bus. Paying the ticket, going and putting me in a place and looking out the window my AF1 shoes are standing there on the hill by the bench. The bus starts rolling there is nothing more to do than to get off at the next stop and when I arrive I see that ……… .. (write the continuation in comment)

Party shoe stealer

Author – lucylex

This is a pretty brief story from this past weekend. I went to a party with some friends that turned out to be pretty packed! It was a good time and people were getting very drunk and wild. One of the boys that was at the party had a tinder date show up as the party went on. The girl walked in with loose boots on and something was telling me those boots of hers were not going to be staying on her feet for very long. Mind you this apartment where the party was taking place was kinda run down and there weren’t any rugs in the main room where everyone was. The floor was filthy. Despite that, this girl ended up slipping out of her shoes and playing beer bong in her thin blue socks. She literally kicked her shoes off toward the bathroom for some reason and not by the front door where there was a blatant shoe mat if you wanted to take your shoes off. No one had taken there shoes off the whole time so automatically she looked a bit out of place. Other people noticed her shoes and people joked about hiding them because they were literally in the middle of the floor and people were tripping over them. She didn’t seem to care though. So anyways, seeing all of this happen I decided to take it upon myself and hide just one of her boots in the cabinet in the bathroom. I didn’t want to steal it all together but just have her hunt for her shoe lol. So I did.. and she ended up coming looking for her shoes shortly later and to her dismay she only found 1 😂. I sat back at the party sipping my drink watching her frantically look around and ask people for her other boot as she wore one boot and continued to give everyone a sock show 😍. As the night went on she basically gave up and by the end of the night she called an Uber and left in her socks. It was the cutest thing. I didn’t take the boot with me and I left it in a pretty visible place so hopefully the host of the party finds it and knows who to call to give it to 😂. Moral of the story, don’t leave your shoes places where you don’t know to many people or you might just end up going home in your socks 😍☺️

Please feel free to check out the picture from that night and check out more pics from my deviant art 😊https://www.deviantart.com/lucylex/art/Blue-socks-782234323

Shoeless Flight

Author – Jimbo

I have recently been on a lads trip to Vegas. We had a brilliant time partying every night. Our last night was no exception even though we had a morning flight the next day. In fact we never really got to bed. We had two flights home, Vegas to Manchester, England via Chicago. At the airport we had to take off our shoes and queue to go through security. I put my trainers in the same tray as Marks shoes but the security guy said one pair only per tray. It was busy and I was unable to add an extra tray into the solid line of trays waiting to be scanned, so the guy advised me to use another security line. Instead of picking up my trainers I deliberately removed Mark’s Adidas trainers leaving mine in his tray and walked in my socks to another queue on the other side of the hall. I placed Mark’s trainers in another tray and went through the metal detector. I was still quicker than the lads in the other queue. I quickly walked back to the original security screener where I collected my shoes and bag. The lads eventually got through their metal detector and started to grab their shoes and carry on bags. As we put on our shoes Gaz asked Mark what he was waiting for. “My trainers” he said. He asked a security guy if his shoes had been taken away for more checks. The guy said no and asked Mark if he was sure he had placed them in a tray. Mark was getting annoyed stood in his socks. The security guard used his radio to give a description of Mark’s trainers. After 15 minutes another guard arrived carrying the missing trainers. “They where in a tray at the far end of the hall” she said with a stern voice. I burst out laughing as Mark put on his shoes. Did you do that? he said. All the lads laughed as I told them what I’d done much to Mark’s annoyance.
The flight to Chicago was full, four hours cramped in an economy seat, I was hoping the next flight wasn’t as full as I needed some sleep. After an uneventful but long wait at Chicago we boarded the Manchester flight. We were near the front of economy, Mark sat next to me in the centre row. Once in the air I kicked off my Nikes and tried to get comfortable, eventually the seat belt sign went off and I legged it to the toilet, not a good idea in socks but I was desperate. Walking back I noticed a full row of empty seats, blankets where neatly placed on the seats so I knew they weren’t occupied. I decided there an then that they where mine. I lifted all the arm rests and laid down across all the seats and went to sleep. I’d slept for the full eight hour flight, only being woken by the flight attendant who said I needed to sit upright and fasten my seat belt. I was about to get up and return to my original seat but she wouldn’t allow it as the seat belt sign was on. I sat there shoeless awaiting the plane to land. After landing and taxiing to the terminal, everyone stood up before the seat belt sign went off blocking my path back to my original seat. I waited again still shoeless until everyone started disembarking. Eventually I reached my original seat, grabbed my bag from the overhead locker and searched under the seat for my trainers but they where gone. I waited until everyone got off I got down on the floor to check under all the seats. The flight attendant asked what I was doing, I told her my shoes are missing. She really didn’t know what to do or say but advised me to report it to ground staff. I walked off the plane shoeless, fortunately I used an air bridge and did not have to use steps and walk across the tarmac in socked feet. Being the last off the plane nobody could see my shoeless feet. Unfortunately, as anyone using T2 at Manchester knows just how long the walk is to immigration. I tried phoning the lads, I assumed they must already be at immigration as they weren’t answering their phones. As I continued walking in my white socks the concourse started filling with passengers from other flights. I was becoming concious of other passengers staring at my shoeless feet. Upon arrival at the immigration hall the queues were out the door. Forty five minutes of waiting in line I got through the automatic passport control kiosk meaning no awkward questions about my now dirty white socked feet. I eventually caught up with the lads in the baggage reclaim hall. “Who took my shoes?” I asked as they laughed at my the situation. Then laughed again as they stared at the luggage carousel where my suitcase was going around with my trainers placed on top. “We are even now” said Mark. Gaz said that I was lucky as he wanted to take my bag aswell, leaving me stranded ‘airside’ without my passport and shoes. I collected my suitcase and Nikes, put them on and we all headed for the exit.

New year’s Eve

Author – John Salt

I’d been looking forward to a romantic New Year’s Eve with the girlfriend for a long time. We had booked a suite in a London hotel, where we were due to attend a champagne party in the ballroom.

The big day finally arrived, and after checking in we went up to our room to shower and change – she now wearing a beautiful black shift dress & heels, whilst I wore a grey suit and brand new black brogues.

It was still only 8:00pm and we thought it too early to join the party. Luckily the hotel had provided a bottle of champagne on ice as part of the package. As I opened the bottle the girlfriend commented how romantic I was to have arranged such a lovely evening. I’d never considered myself remotely romantic, but in an attempt to enter into the spirit of things I replied “If I were really a true romantic, I would be drinking champagne from my lady’s shoe. Sadly I’m not!”

I sat beside her on the sofa and prepared to pour the champagne into two glasses. She, however, suddenly stood and announced “Well … I am romantic, even if you’re not! And drinking champagne from a your lady’s shoe sounds very romantic! But if you don’t want to … we’ll just have to change things round a little …”

She stood, smiling, then knelt down beside my legs. She pulled my right leg towards her and began to unlace my right shoe. I couldn’t believe it – “You can’t be serious!”

“I am. Seriously romantic!” she answered as she slipped my shoe from my black socked foot. I really didn’t believe she would actually do it, but she did … pouring champagne into my rather expensive right shoe and taking a sip – “Cheers!”

She rejoined me on the sofa – she giggling and taking occasional sips from the shoe whilst I drank rather more conventionally from a glass. We chatted and laughed and time rolled on. She looked at her watch – “Come on. It’s 9:45. Time to join the party.”

“Darling, you just destroyed my shoe! I’ve only brought this one pair. I can’t go like this!”

She tugged my arm, helping me stand – “Yes you can. Come on Cinderella – you can go exactly like this!” I protested, but she continued to tug me towards the door. I could see was determined and refusal was useless. I could also see she was strangely excited.

Arm in arm we headed down to the ballroom via corridors, lifts and the hotel lobby … my single shoe making the usual tapping noise as we crossed it’s marble floor – in contrast to my silent right socked foot …

The night was yet young – and I was destined to spend the final hours of 2018 and first of 2019 as Cinderella …

Don’t mess with the concrete guys

Author – Debbie Keds

Back in the 1970’s, my god mother Beverly had some guys enlarge the concrete patio around her swimming pool by pouring additional concrete. During the process, Beverly got into an argument with the guys about how they were doing the work. Fortunately, everything worked out fine with the work; however, Beverly had left an older pair of Sears Jeepers Sneakers near her back door. She found them filled with concrete that had dried solid like a rock. It was hilarious!