Author – unlucky lad
After spending all night in a very small cell, Danny was cold, hungry and desperate for the toilet. He heard activity outside his cell so he starting kicking the door, banging and shouting. The cell door opened and a rather shocked security guard said “What you doing in there, you should of been transported to prison with the others yesterday”
“I need a toilet desperately” said Danny. The guard escorted him to the toilets, they had just been cleaned and the floor was wet, Danny didn’t care about his socks getting wet, he needed the toilet.
The guard locked him up again until he could identify Danny was looked like a prisoner without any I.D. or shoes. He was given coffee and biscuits, after another hour an apologetic senior court official released him from his detention. He was told a Judge would investigate the incident and he would be given an official apology by the court. He was taken upstairs still in his socks and was repatriated with his boots and other belongings. His phone was dead so he put his tools into his van and headed to his boss’s office. He got no sympathy from his boss who was in tears of laughter listening to Danny’s story of his overnight incarceration. “Remember you must wear your boots at work at all times” said his boss jokingly. He was given the day off but had to return to the Courthouse the next day and complete the job he failed to do yesterday.
The next day at the Courthouse no apology was given from the security guard as he escorted Danny to the room with the defective barrier. After an hour it was repaired and needed testing, Danny asked the guard to go through the barrier to test its sensitivity. The guard said to Danny that his cell ordeal was unfortunate. “Is that your attempt at an apology?” said Danny to the 25 year old guard. The guard didn’t reply as he walked through the metal detector, activating the alarm. The guard emptied his pockets and tried again, the alarm went off again.
“It must be your shoes” said Danny “Take them off”
“I’m the guard, don’t tell me to take my shoes off”
“You want the barrier to detect correctly for everyone’s safety” asked Danny.
“Yes” replied the guard. “Then wind your neck in and take your shoes off” said Danny.
The guard sat down and unlaced his shoes, took them off and placed them on the desk with all his other stuff. He walked through the barrier again, feeling uncomfortable in his socked feet, activating the alarm once more. “Are you sure you have nothing else metal on you?” said Danny.
Danny convinced the guard that the studs in his black denim style jeans had activated the alarm and needed him to remove his trousers. Reluctantly he took his trousers off and walked through again in his shirt, boxers and bright red football socks. Unbeknown to the guard Danny had been setting off the alarm remotely with his test kit. Danny placed all the guards belongings including his shoes and trousers into a tray and said “I’ll get your colleagues to xray your stuff to ensure every test has been done correctly”. Danny left the room but didn’t speak to anyone, he discreetly hid the tray under a counter out of sight and returned and informed the guard that his colleagues would scan his stuff and bring them to him shortly. The guard sat in his shirt, underwear and football socks and watched Danny pack away his tools . “I’ll remind your colleagues that your still waiting” he said as he left the room. He didn’t speak to anyone has he headed for the exit. ‘That’ll teach him to leave me without my boots the other day’ he thought to himself.
As he was about to leave he was stopped by a court Usher, “Glad I caught you, Judge McIntyre wants to publicly apologise in front of the court for your unauthorised detention”
The Usher asked the guards to look after Danny’s tools, but he had to remove his boots to return through the security barrier. The courtroom was full, after a short while Danny asked an official what was happening “The Judge wants to reprimand both guards responsible for your detention but it appears one has lost his uniform”. The two guards appeared, one red faced as he walked into the dock in white shirt, boxers and red football socks. The courtroom filled with laughter, the shoes and trouser less guard’s face went as red as his socks. Danny enjoyed watching the guards discomfort. Everyone stood up as the Judge appeared. The Judge asked the security guard why he had no trousers and shoes, he immediately pointed to Danny and said he’d taken them. Danny explained why he’d done it and the court adjourned until the guard retrieved his trousers and shoes.
An hour later back in the courtroom, Danny stood at the stand and Judge McIntyre apologised for the events that lead him to being locked up overnight. But then said “I understand your frustration with the guards but I cannot allow you to dish out your own justice and holding the court in contempt. Go and join the guards in the dock. ‘Great’ thought Danny as he walked across the courtroom, ‘Now I’m going to be told off in front of the court’. The Judge told the two security guards that their lack of professionalism and disregard for public welfare was of serious concern and brought the Courthouse into disrepute. “Therefore to learn from your incompetence I am going to give you the same experience as this young man endured and be detained in the court cells for one day. As we are halfway through today you will be immediately taken into custody then released to return tomorrow morning to the cells and be summoned back here tomorrow afternoon to see if you have learnt from your mistakes”. The two guards looked at each other in astonishment, we are guards not prisoners. Danny stood next to them with a big smirk on his face. The Judge noticed Danny’s amusement and said “Do you find this all a joke young man”
“No your Honour” said Danny, now with a stoney face like a child being told off at school.
“A warning for your actions this morning would of sufficed after your unintended detention. However I feel your contempt in this courtroom deserves further punishment. I therefore subject you to the same punishment as those stood next to you, fail to surrender to the court bailliff tomorrow morning and you will be arrested, that goes for all three of you” said Judge McIntyre. “Take them down” he said. Danny’s jaw dropped as he was placed in handcuffs along with the two guards as they where escorted to the cells.
The guard who had locked up Danny had his property confiscated, although he was a tall muscular 28 year old man he had tears in his eyes as he removed his boots. He placed them next to a cell door and said to his colleague locking him up, “One hour ago, I was the jailer and now I’m the prisoner”. He was emotional as he walked into the cell in his socked feet. “Sorry Eddie” said the new guard as he locked him in and chalked ‘Jackson – Daytime Only’ on the cell door. Danny still handcuffed watched the younger guard stripped of his property, red eyed with tears, he too took off his shoes revealing his red football socks again and was placed in the adjacent cell. “Just relax Tom, it’ll be over sooner than you think” said the guard sympathetically as he locked his colleague in the cell. ‘Mason – Daytime only’ was chalked on his door.
“Your turn” said the guard abruptly to Danny as he removed the handcuffs, he was told to empty his pockets, remove his belt and jacket. “Now take your boots off” the guard demanded. “Calm down” said Danny.
“You caused me to have to lock up my work mates” said the guard “So shut up and take your f***ing boots off”
Danny pulled off his boots and placed them next to his cell door. “Do you think I want to be here” said Danny. “Shut the f*** up” said the guard as he pushed him into the cell. Danny stumbled in his socked feet as the door behind him locked. The guard chalked on the cell door ‘Parker – Remand’
Danny could feel the cold from the stone floor penetrate his socks, he climbed onto the bench and laid down. ‘Shit’ he thought ‘My boss won’t be happy, I should be on another job now, gonna be difficult explaining I’m locked up again and tomorrow’. Several hours passed as he laid there staring at his socked feet then the ceiling then his socks again, he really wanted to be out.
Finally the cell door opened “Great” he said “Get me outta here”
Stood outside the cell was a different guard, “Wheres my boots” said Danny.
“Prisoner’s go shoeless in the prison transport vehicle” said the guard.
“What has that got to do with me” said Danny.
“Your going to prison” said the guard “Paperwork says Danny Parker on remand – Return to court next day” The prison guard slapped handcuffs on his wrists.
“I was put in the cells by the judge for contempt I’m not a criminal, I can’t go to prison” shouted Danny.