The drunk

Author – Shoeless Guy

Eric is a barman and always passed weekend revellers as he headed home late from work. People always tried flagging down his car assuming it was a taxi. One particular night Eric stopped at traffic lights when his passenger door opened. “Alright mate” said a lad as he fell into the passenger seat. “Take me home driver” said the drunk guy.
“I’m not a taxi” said Eric “Please get out of my car”.
The lights went green so Eric had to move forward as there was traffic behind him. He eventually pulled over into a quiet street and asked his uninvited passenger to get out. “I need to get home” said the drunk. “What’s your name?” asked Eric. “Sam” he said.
“It’s nice to meet you Sam but I’m not a taxi and I need you to get out” said Eric politely. “I’ve missed the last Metro home, lost my phone and can’t find my mates” said Sam, “Please take me home”. Eric took pity at the guys situation, he was to regret asking where he lived seeing as he missed his train meaning he lived out of town.
“Newcastle” said Sam. “That’s a canny drive from here” said Eric in his local accent.
“I’ll pay you”
Eric really wanted to go home and sleep after his shift at work but couldn’t leave the guy in the street either. “OK, but you need to pay for my fuel” Sam searched his pockets for his wallet, inside was Β£5. “Don’t suppose this will do?” Eric shook his head “No Sam it’s not enough” he looked at the wallet, it had no bank cards so no chance of using an ATM.
“Look Sam I’m quite willing to take you home but I need paying for the fuel”
“I’ll get you some money when I’m home”
“OK but give me your watch as deposit as I don’t want to drive into ‘toon’ then you doing a runner”
Sam took off his watch, it was a cheap Casio digital watch worth about Β£6 from Amazon. Eric wanted to kick him out, he didn’t need this at 2am but knew he couldn’t.
“If you want me to drive to Newcastle then give me your shoes” said Eric. “When you get home and pay for the fuel then you get your shoes back” Sam looked at his feet in the footwell “My shoes” his eyes where getting heavy “My shoes” he repeated.
“Yes your shoes, take them off and give them to me”
“My shoes, you want my shoes” repeated Sam again, he was falling asleep.
Eric had had enough, he got out of the car and walked to the passenger door to remove the uninvited drunk from the car. He dragged Sams’s legs out and noticed he was now asleep. He couldn’t leave him but what could he do. Sam was wearing a pair of white Nike trainers, more than enough to pay for fuel. He pulled them off the sleeping drunks feet revealing black/grey patterned socks. He shoved the drunks socked feet back into the footwell and put the Nike trainers into the car boot. Eric set off for Newcastle with the now shoeless sleeping Sam beside him.
On the city’s central motorway, Eric woke up Sam. “Where am I” he said and looked at Eric “Who the f*** are you?” Then he looked down at his feet “Wheres my f***ing shoes” He was now changing from a happy drunk into an aggressive drunk. Eric tried to explain the situation but he wasn’t listening.
“Where do you live?” asked Eric “Sam gave him directions before falling asleep again. Upon arrival Eric shouted “We’re here”. Sam woke up “Where am I?, Who are you?” Eric didn’t want to explain again so he lied “You where robbed, they took your shoes, I found you and took you home” Sam looked down at his shoeless feet “They where my favourite trainers” he said. Sam got out of the car and told Eric to wait, he went inside his house and returned a few minutes later still in socked feet and gave Eric Β£50, he insisted he took it for being a good samaritan and to pay for his fuel and inconvenience. Eric knew it was too much and didn’t want it as he had Sams shoes in his car boot. But his lie stopped him from revealing the truth, so he just took the money. Sam stood and watched in his socked feet as the good samaritan drove away with his money and his shoes. Sam had well and truly been robbed….. by Eric. At least he was safe at home.


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